Pocket Pool

Exclusively for PlayStation Portable
by – “Tiger” Oliver

…there really are none

This entire game

I’ll admit it, I’ve played some horrible games for the slightest chance of seeing some nudity – and I mean some horrible games.Remember BMX XXX? Yeah, I played the PS2 version (the one with all the censorship) just for the videos.

However, when it comes down to Pocket Pool, five minutes of gameplay proved too much for even my masochistic soul.

This game has got to be the worst gimmick game on the planet; so bad, I’m not giving it the usual rundown nor the dignity of a full-on review.

All you need to know is that this game is a billiards game with horrible physics, subpar graphics and absolutely ZERO nudity in the game. And, I’m sorry if I’m sounding a little perverted here, but for a game of this type, you’d expect to see some sort of nudity, even on the censored level of the PS2 port of BMX XXX. But no, there’s none. And that just adds to the list of what’s wrong with this game.

I literally played this game for five minutes. FIVE MINUTES! After only five minutes, I was ready to tape the UMD to the wall and make like Mark McGuire – ‘roid up like Hulk and smash that sucker to kingdom come with my Louisville Slugger 70 times!

So, how does it stack up?

Gameplay: 0/5
Graphics: 1/5

Sound: 1/5
Controls: 0/5
Replay Value: 0/5

Overall: 0/5

This is, without a doubt, the worst game I’ve ever played. Yes, even worse than Sonic the Hedgehog (2006) on XBox 360. This UMD deserves a one way ticket to Hell courtesy of WillItBlend? and the BlendTec industrial grade blender. Perhaps we can set that up?


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