Still don’t have a PS3 to try out the revolutionary (and by revolutionary I mean that it shows how depressingly far we have to go as a medium) Heavy Rain? Then how would you like a free, flash based alternative that’s actually more fun to play?

Yes? Then Press X to Jason is for you. It loses the graphics, but it keeps the gameplay, and that’s all that’s really important, right?

P.S. – I know this hit the net over two months ago, but I hadn’t done anything in a while and needed to do something to remind people this blog is here in time to get it going again along with the summer O’Colly. Look for more regular updates in the coming weeks.

Exclusively for PlayStation Portable
by – “Tiger” Oliver

Pros:
…there really are none.

Cons:
This entire game

I’ll admit it, I’ve played some horrible games for the slightest chance of seeing some nudity – and I mean some horrible games.Remember BMX XXX? Yeah, I played the PS2 version (the one with all the censorship) just for the videos.

However, when it comes down to Pocket Pool, five minutes of gameplay proved too much for even my masochistic soul.

This game has got to be the worst gimmick game on the planet; so bad, I’m not giving it the usual rundown nor the dignity of a full-on review.

All you need to know is that this game is a billiards game with horrible physics, subpar graphics and absolutely ZERO nudity in the game. And, I’m sorry if I’m sounding a little perverted here, but for a game of this type, you’d expect to see some sort of nudity, even on the censored level of the PS2 port of BMX XXX. But no, there’s none. And that just adds to the list of what’s wrong with this game.

I literally played this game for five minutes. FIVE MINUTES! After only five minutes, I was ready to tape the UMD to the wall and make like Mark McGuire – ‘roid up like Hulk and smash that sucker to kingdom come with my Louisville Slugger 70 times!

So, how does it stack up?

Gameplay: 0/5
Graphics: 1/5
Sound: 1/5
Controls: 0/5
Replay Value: 0/5

Overall: 0/5

This is, without a doubt, the worst game I’ve ever played. Yes, even worse than Sonic the Hedgehog (2006) on XBox 360. This UMD deserves a one way ticket to Hell courtesy of WillItBlend? and the BlendTec industrial grade blender. Perhaps we can set that up?

Ever wanted to help out some small but awesome video game studios and  make donations to some organizations that could really use it?

No?  Well, then you’re a jerk.

Everyone else needs to check out the Humble Indie Bundle.  Five great games, pay what you want, and decide what percentage gets split up between the game developers, Child’s Play, and the EFF.

The games included in the bundle are World of Goo, Aquaria, Gish, Lugaru HD, and Penumbra: Overture.  All are DRM free and available for PC, Mac, or Linux.

This is a great deal for some great games and great causes and everyone needs to give it a look.

Videogame blogs.  They really don’t have any sort of copy editing, do they?  (This one included.)

And someone is finally doing something about it!  Well, writing a blog pointing out the mistakes anyway.

http://gamejournos.tumblr.com/ , listed here by its URL because I doubt The O’Colly’s guidelines would let me write out the full name of the site, is posting some of the more inane mistakes, typos, and general poor writing on the major gaming blogs.

I just hope he doesn’t get bored and look through here…

FINALLY.

MekTek, the new license holders for MechWarrior, have been given clearance by former publisher Microsoft and released MechWarrior 4: Mercenaries for free.

Awesome, right? Well, apparently everyone else thought so too, as their servers are aren’t looking to good (at the time of this posting anyway).

Well, luckily someone grabbed it before the servers went down and made a torrent.  Go here to download it.

You’ll need a BitTorrent program (like uTorrent) to actually download the game, and once the download completes you’ll have to change the file extension to a zip file.  (Go to rename, then just change the part after the period: “.zip”)

If you have any questions check the instructions on the above links or the MekTek Forums.

Halo developer Bungie has signed a 10 year deal with publisher Activision.

Under the deal, Bungie remains an independent company, and will own any and all new IPs created while under the deal.

This means that all Bungie made games for the next decade will possibly, if not probably, be available on multiple platforms instead of just Microsoft systems.

However, it doesn’t mean that Halo will be ported to the PS3 any time soon.  Or ever.  Don’t bother asking about it.

(Note: I wrote this the other day on Negative Gamer and it hit number six on reddit, so I thought the few of you that hadn’t seen it yet might want to.)

I’ve been involved with the Gamers of OSU for the last five years, four of those as an officer, three as president. Yesterday, I helped host what was in all likelihood my last LAN party as an officer due to my upcoming graduation. It’s a weird feeling. It’s something I love doing, but something that is a frustrating endeavor that barely pays off 7 times out of 10.

I’ve seen LANs of 30 people, and LANs of 3 people. I walked into the scene in the aftermath of World of Warcraft’s decimation of not just our group, but organized LANs everywhere. I kept thinking that the next big FPS would turn things around, and a dozen “next big things” later the scene is still on life support. Hell, we wouldn’t be able to keep going if OSU didn’t let us use some of its facilities for free.

But as I’m reflecting on this occasion I have some thoughts from a half decade of experience:

1. Quake 3 is still the best deathmatch game ever made. I’d say for FFA or CTF it would be UT2K4. The Call of Duty games are great, but there is just something about those two games.

2. id Software REALLY screwed up with Quake 4. I know dozens of guys who either upgraded or, like myself, built whole new rigs in anticipation of what we thought would be the next big thing in PC gaming. And for a few months it was. We held tournaments, and everyone tried to keep an open mind (“Well, it’s pretty much Quake 3 with better graphics.”) but we just couldn’t keep supporting a game that had dropped to a couple dozen empty servers at any given time.

3. Seriously, who comes to a LAN and plays WoW? If we didn’t need your $5 from the door we would have kicked your asses out. Playing for 30 minutes while people are running out to grab lunch is fine, but to come to a LAN and only play WoW, what’s the point? You aren’t playing with us, and we don’t need you making our power layout more complicated.

4. Never leave your PC unlocked, or when you come back from lunch your desktop will be goatse.

5. If you make a big deal of a game (console or PC) during the planning stages of a LAN, you better fucking show up to play it. Nothing is more frustrating than people telling you how great it is to play Rock Band at a LAN (which it is, as a side thing), then after you haul it all out two guys play it for 15 minutes while their friend runs to Subway.

6. The Left 4 Dead games are two of the best games today for the state most LANs are in, because you should be able to find 8, or at least 4 people to play versus.

7. No matter who they are, they will play in a hastily thrown together Soul Calibur tournament.

8. People talk about how cool it is to see obscure stuff like an Atari Jaguar or 3DO at a LAN, but then spend all afternoon playing Smash Bros.

9. Always keep ISOs for Medal of Honor: Allied Assault and Star Wars: Jedi Academy around. Everyone can run them, they don’t take long to install, and they always seem to be a big hit.

10. Never underestimate the unintended spin-offs. DotA, various Tower Ds, and Garry’s Mod are always fun. Often more-so than the triple A title that came out last week.

11. If you don’t do it, no one will. Whether it’s advertising, getting the room or set up, make sure you only trust people who you know you can count on. The majority of people, even close friends, will flake on you at some point, so plan on doing it yourself, even if someone promises to be there at 9:00 a.m. setting up with you.

12. Everyone loves a good Quakecon story. And no, I don’t mean about the matches (unless they are amazingly bad). Stories of people uninstalling Quake 3 so they can steal more porn. Stories of being scrubbed out of the tournament -2 to 32. Stories of seeing your friend talk a stripper into giving him a lap dance for a used, losing, out of state scratch off lottery ticket. I once heard someone say, “Quakecon? That place is awesome! I got robbed at knife-point down there last year!”

I’m sure I could come up with more, but that’s enough for now.

It shouldn’t come as a surprise that I’m super excited about the upcoming Special Edition of the second Monkey Island game.

Now long time series fans like me have another reason to eagerly await its release: Developer commentary.

Destructoid has a trailer up showing Tim Schafer, Ron Gilbert, and Dave Grossman, the driving forces behind the original game’s creation, will be giving insight into how the game was made.

If you haven’t ever seen game commentary here’s a video of some from Half Life 2.

Our long national nightmare is over: Marvel vs. Capcom 3 has been announced.

Not much is known right now, but it’s great to see them reviving the franchise.

Keeping with the theme of classic games getting updates, Splatterhouse is getting a new game and it looks incredible.

Splatterhouse was one of those series that flew under the radar for most people, but just about everyone that played one of them loved it.

It’s a shame that the originals are hard to find these days, but it looks like the original three will be included as a bonus when the game ships this fall.